hi peeps , its 3.30 a.m in the morning and im still here didn't sleep even tomorrow ade kuiz + test ekonomi and esoknye common test utk criminal . i`m still here typing this entry because i feel like i want to ... so , for this entry i want to talk about stars . what kind of stars ? stars that would always be shining throughout my suffers phase . my stars :) .
dah 8 bulan aku kat asasi nie . thb , as the days keep on counting .. i believe that im turning back to my first few weeks here , it feels so . the days when im more like introvert kind of kids . the some sort of "mental-problematic" kind of people . as im trying to be even more independent . even since high school .. form berapa aku dah lupa . aku dngn kawan2 aku semue dok mcD makan sama2 and worrying about me figuring how am I gonna fit in at my new school at that time as i was having such a rough times , and a bigger question occur then was how am i going to make friends in later during my uni live . and now . as we expected , here i am .. still figuring about the answer . lol the funny thing is there`s nothing i could do about it .
however , as time is slowly passing by , I kindda like the way i am . like no kidding . maybe i should just stay this way . maybe its a part of learning too .learning on how to maturing myself . can't just hope for people to fully satisfy me , maybe i need to understand them a bit . this whole life experience that i got here is actually beyond priceless . need to start looking at it in a very positive ways . and i should learn that everything`s can change in just a while . and u can't simply force people to stay with u . they are progressing towards a better them in their own transition phase different from yours .cant just stick to one moment and keep thinking about it the whole time im in here right ?
maybe some of u still didn't clearly understand what's the "star" stands for . to be clear , im not going to tell what the star referring to . maybe some things are better left unanswered :) ..
now , all the things i have to focus on is set my goals clear . THINK POSITIVE ! . have faith and ignore all those empty feeling . it was just a distraction that exist in myself ever since i was in primary school . we cant have the key to enter someone's heart and force to be with us . becuase sometimes we also need to spread our wings. and we need to spread it high . :) insyallah .
then , what would happen to all the stars i loved and cared so much ? i hope they will take their wings further too . they've shine my life enough and more than what i could ask for .. i wish they could shine others people live and let the happiness be spread . sometimes i do miss the moments that i spent with all the stars . but stars are stars . they will always be they still shining on yours cloudy most dreadful days but maybe not specifically on you .. but im still grateful well .. sometimes . hehe but to be honest , it kills me deep inside everytime im seeing them happy outside . i guess letting them go isn't really an easy job . but it is necessary ,
now amer , get back all your competitive senses , it`s time to strive again . its time to strive hard ... even if u dont succeed well maybe u`ll be rewarded with something that u could never imagined just like what happened in you spm .
it`s time to try . it`s time to go against the time . its the fierce battle of me going against my desire . am gonna always hoping for the best .
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